Or, as the more commonly referred to name - facebook .. has eaten me up.
I am visiting with folks who remember me (and even those who forgot me) from when I was in the teensie part of my life.
Uncanny.
What she said.
That's what I'm thinking too.. just didn't express it that way. This is icing.
Currently eating cake.
Not a Ross and Rachel break .. so be true.. I'll be back in a couple days. Have no fear (not that you would - or should - or... awwhh heck).
I really will be back.
Just in case anybody wonders.
* You may recall (maybe not, if you're a 'new' reader) that Shelby is a fictional blogger. Ok -- what I mean is .. as I warned .. or prefaced when I started this blog, Shelby is not the real name of this writer.
It is my belief that Shelby may fade away from this pretend existence at some point.. this year, next year.. I really don't know .. but what I do know is that Shelby's writer is in a quandary. Sick.. no, not sick as in disease.. just dissolving a bit.
Oh - the events here have all been real.. the names not so much. Shelby connects not (here) with some real people she's known and loved her four decades on earth .. instead, Shelby has mostly sought refuge here among an alternate universe of friends who have never known her -- people with whom have had no expectation of her -- people who have never judged her-- people who understand her and 'like' her.
The real people -- well, they are real. They know the good and the bad, the pretty and the ugly, the exciting and the boring.
They make the world a harder place, but a richer place too--richer in the meaning of full, complete, raw, difficult, challenging and ultimately rewarding.
The real people are often uninvited here (except Brother-he's always invited). This is the writer's place .. a retreat of solitude, a certain intimacy much of the time. The guys here.. they're invited. That's the difference. Some of the difference I guess.
The real people -- people with whom only remember her and know her today with the sensibilities of the writer as having been skinny and awkward and socially somewhat inept (show me a teenager without those qualities--I dare you--can't do it).. they are the ones who cause Shelby to fade. They are real, Shelby is not.
.. it might well be the nearness of the doom of Shelby. She's fading a bit. More transparent than usual.
You see.. the writer connected with some ghosts of Shelby's past yesterday.. the real people. Some of the real people.
The writer had long avoided some real people, childhood friends, because of .. life -mostly. But they had become ghosts .. because they were so long ago.. so hard to see.. so hard to connect with somehow -- why? Such is life. Why indeed.
Time separates.
The time gap was bridged some in the last few hours. The writer has become more real--Shelby is not so real anymore.. The ghosts don't know Shelby -- never will, she has no past.. the ghosts know only the writer ...
..and they will never know Shelby.
It's like there are two worlds, and one cannot exist wholly in one and not in the other.
Real must win at some point. Shelby simply cannot pretend forever. The real is beginning to take hold. With all its faults.. still, the real is actually real.
And Shelby is actually pretend. You don't know - and may never know the writer.. and the real people don't know - and may never know Shelby.
---
Narnians will never travel to London (well, Prince Caspian almost did - but it was after he had died, and they were technically in heaven, but he had always wanted to see their world, so Aslan allowed that to happen). And a few Londonites went to Narnia - but couldn't stay.
So...
Here.
Hmmmm. I could probably drive there in 8 hours. A real writing workshop. Not a pretend thing--like runs around in my head.
Amazing. We'll see what happens (or doesn't).
I had nothin'.
Ever have those times? Sure you do. Well I do anyway.
I did the usual this morning.. checked for comments.. lazed around the blogosphere a few minutes.. commented over at agent Rachelle's blog (not my agent mind you-not that I would mind).. chuckled at myself for my attempt at communication of ideas to her (or anybody) at 6:11 am (or thereabouts)..
Checked news feeds.. intrigued at the earthquake in northern California yesterday. Plates are on the move.
Super Bowl stuff.. still - no idea who is actually playing.. nor do I really want to know (I'm sure I'll find out as soon as I do much more online - or if I turn the television from off to on).
Listened to my music on Pandora.. (currently listening to Gossip in the Grain by Ray LaMontagne - love him by the way - love).
Perused the google top trends of the moment (to make sure I didn't miss any non existent press release or other such news story of me being offered a multi-million dollar contract on an unfinished manuscript).
Noticed 'tea party' was all up in the top searches of the times. What's up with that.. oh I know, it has to do with politics and Sarah Palin and all that sort of 'talking head' business. But, it got me thinking (I used that phrase just a few minutes ago whilst commenting at agent Rachelle's place).
'Tea party' got me thinking ... so, I did a blog search for that .. last 12 hours I think is what I narrowed it to.. saw a blog link to La Vida Betsy (I didn't think she was a talking head, so I popped over to read about her wee tea party).
Then, I scrolled down to see what else she had on her blog, 'cause after all - it's all about the 'what else' isn't it?? (for the explorer in all of us).
- an aside.. if I happen to ever be re-incarnated backwards in time, hopefully it'll be into one of those guys/or gal(s) from that voyage of discovery tour that went new places back in the 1804-5 era..
Anyway.. turns out, La Vida Betsy has a video not too far down her blog (scroll time equals minuscule) and it's Sarah Groves singing Twice as Good. Beautiful lyrics.. lovely video.. about friends, relationships, support, life, me, you, them. I was inspired by those moments mixed in song and vision and words and feeling.
Turned back to pandora.. typed in a new 'channel' (I now want a Sarah Grove channel please).
First song that played was Gossip in the Grain, Ray .. I already said it.. remember above where I said I love him?
Awesome find.
'... silly sparrow, gossip in the grain, have you heard the- oh you don't say. Some day, some day, snow shall fill the trees.. best make warm...'
Feel good factor: way high at the moment.
Today, over at Rachelle Gardner's blog, she posted on 'should you have a book trailer.' Thing is .. I already made one a few months ago.
So my issue isn't should I have one -- but rather -- did you see it? It was a preview of sorts.
I did it myself as sort of an exercise in moving along with the story and/or tightening up very loose ends (or middles).
In no way is it intended to be anything more than amateur-ing antics of a story in the 'to be continued' phases ... but still.. I did make a bit of progress. So, there you go.
More later.
- - -
In the 'preview' .. my son is the photogger and the prose is mine.. the music on my playlist seemed to fit my creative juices that day.
They are distinguished not wholly by their errors, but by their conceit. There are many ways Amazon so very failed this past weekend (by the way-- that's a link to a very humorous yet informative post on the --shall I say it-- macabre comedy of errors by the jungle guys that is currently still happening at 10:00 pm CST).
I dare say, I may never buy from the jungle guys again -- however Barnes and Noble, probably. Powell's Books, definitely. Local booksellers, absolutely.
Buy more books (as opposed to the digital kind that the jungle sellers steal back in the dead of night).
Drink milk.
Forever yours, and so far - still, Kindle free.
Shelby
As promised, I awoke with such glee this morning to find that some folks here actually wanted my books -- and had entered the aforementioned "contest" (my somewhat loosely defined boundary driven competition to inspire some wordsmithing).
First, a message to those who didn't win: Let's so do this again in a few weeks! I have many more books and time is on my side (I hope -- I am 45.. so I have approximately that many more years left if I'm at the midpoint and I remain at fairly decent health). So, all is not lost.. you can enter again next time and alas, who knows?!
And, of course - thank you.
Thank you for your prose, your time and your desire to read actual books (I'm currently Kindle free myself).
So, the winners are:
1. Janet Ruth from Along the Way - The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. Janet liked this old post of mine .. and I did too .. I had forgotten about it and was delighted to re-introduce myself to it after she re-introduced it to me. I recommend you click here and see what is that. Five minutes of your life.. that's all.
"I love to read, and I love to hold a book in my hands, smell the pages, and sometimes I even fall asleep with a book on my face. Pure ecstasy! "
-- Janet Ruth
"Pardon my raunchy language, but my daughters and I jokingly call ourselves "book whores" because we cannot pass up a good book" -- PaulaFrom one book whore to another ... it's your turn.
" . . . because out of all the books it was the one of the two I haven't heard of or read and it looked like a nice cover than House." -- Sharon
